Philippians 3 Reflections

"But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which [is] from the law, but that which [is] through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith;" - Philippians 3:7-9 NKJV

I'm on the train to Sacramento and have just said "goodbye" to my family in Bakersfield. It was pretty hard and as I sat there trying to get my mind on something else, I decided to try to put a movie on. Only, my computer wasn't working. Neither was my internet so I couldn't even text or talk to someone.

Call me a blockhead, but it took me a good hour to realize that what I truly needed was time with the Lord. So, I sought some solace in the Word. Philippians 3 was up on my computer already, so I started reading it and dwelling on the rich words Paul wrote there. It's one of my favorite books and yet I tend to rush through the first 3 chapters to get to the 4th...my favorite chapter.

But right now, Chapter 3 was just what I needed. I have to say, I haven't reflected much on how Paul had to give so much up in order to follow the Lord's call in his life. In verses 4-6, he explains who he was before knowing the Lord and how they were his identity. But then, just as quickly, he brushes them aside with "but what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ..."

And, after having to say goodbye to my family, pack up my belongings into 5 pieces of luggage, leave behind my church family of 7 years, and step away from familiar in order to follow the Lord's calling to Scotland...what Paul said and the things he did resonated with me.

I tried to re-write what Paul said in my own words (in verses 7-9):

"But these merits and titles I had are nothing compared to what I have in Christ. I chose to rather lose them so I could gain Christ. It’s true, I gave up every pride and every title I had to know Christ Jesus as my Lord. It’s been hard and I have suffered because of it, but in the end that stuff I had to give up was crap compared to what I have been given in Christ: a new identity, a new chance at life. It is nothing I have done or that anyone or anything else has done for me, but what He has done and what I faithfully believe He can do: restore my true righteousness through faith in Him;"

Granted, the difference is that Paul was speaking of what he had to leave behind in his flesh in order to gain salvation in the Lord whilst the stuff I am leaving behind is to start a new chapter in the life the Lord has given to me. 

But the feelings are still there. I can imagine Paul having those reflective fleshly moments of "did I really give all of that up for this life?" "Did I make the right choice?" "I really miss what I had..."

I know that days will come when I will miss my family, familiarity, my church, my community...and the days will come when I will let my flesh wonder about the what-ifs and what-could-have-beens; but Paul's comforting words will remind me of why I pressed forward and moved onward to Scotland...

"Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing [I do], forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 3:12-14 NKJV

And what I do know is that I can't hold on to the life I am leaving being. I have to let it go and boldly step forward into what the Lord has for me. New relationships, new ways of communicating with my family in the states. New fellowship, New emails with updates of what the Lord is doing. New. 

The race has to be run with endurance. Paul knew that. I know this from Paul. Christ reminds me of this and the Spirit comforts me through this. 

This is where joy comes from. Following the Lord. Leaving yesterday where it is and not wishing for it to come back. Staying current with God. Rejoicing in Him. Let's not forget the beginning of this chapter: 

"Finally, my brethren, rejoice in the Lord. For me to write the same things to you [is] not tedious, but for you [it is] safe." - Philippians 3:1

Lasts and Firsts

I can't believe how fast the weeks are moving. 

I leave the Central Coast in a little less than 3 weeks. This means that I am experiencing a lot of "lasts." My last time teaching Sunday School was last Sunday. My last Midweek Kid's Study will be tonight. My last day working in the office at Shoreline is next Wednesday. My last Sunday at Shoreline will be March 10th. Many of you who know me well might be wondering how I am handling this...and the answer is that I am handling it in a good way, with a huge dose of the Lord's mercy. 

There is a difference between having emotion (which is a good thing!) and being emotionally unstable...right? Right! One prayer I've had over the past few months has been that I would keep my eyes on the Lord and not let my girlie/emotional/extroverted/people loving self get too caught up in the "sadness" of what this season could look like. He has been so faithful with this request and I ask that you would all keep praying for that! 

I know the tears will come, and I know the goodbyes will be hard...but in the midst of all of that, I want to keep my eyes on the Lord. It is for Him that I am doing this and by Him that I have the strength and ability to do it. I am reminded of the Lord's gentle exhortation in Mark:

"When He had called the people to Himself, with His disciples also, He said to them, "Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. "For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel's will save it." Mark 8:34-35 NKJV

And, with the denying of myself and the forsaking of known comforts, I am looking forward to a lot of "firsts". My first time living in another country, my first day to fellowship with the church family at Calvary Motherwell, my first outreach, my first time meeting the other missionaries, my first time meeting brothers and sisters that I will look forward to calling "friend". My first bible study. My first trip to the highlands.

I am so blessed to leave this adventure and season on the central coast for a new one in Scotland!

___

On an entirely unrelated note, I read this devotion last night and it blessed me so much that I wanted to share it once again: Taking The Initiative Against Daydreaming (My Utmost For His Highest, Oswald Chambers).

Waiting, with hope, by faith

This is what I read tonight at my dinner/silent auction fundraiser. It was meant to be just something I spoke but the more time I put into it, the more it became a bit of a blog post so, I thought I would put it on my blog.

Tonight was such a blessing. Each person who came and helped and served and cooked and donated and then turned around and bought stuff to support me....wow! I am so blessed by each of you!!!

~

The dictionary defines waiting as The action of staying where one is or delaying action until a particular time or until something else happens. It implies that you know there is a finish line-and that ultimately, regardless of the journey, whatever is at the finish line is worth it. It is the now you are living in...looking forward to the “then” you are heading to.

It is a means to an end. Waiting in line for the bathroom means that you will ultimately get to use the bathroom. Waiting for your order in the mail leads to having the item that you ordered. Waiting for your paycheck implies you will get paid.

About ten years ago, I heard the word “wait” from the Lord when I was praying about wanting to go to Scotland. For ten years I waited. I proverbially saw the end of the line, so I stood in it and waited. I “placed my Amazon order” and knew the mail was coming. 

But then there’s hope. Hope is defined as A feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. 

It is the emotion that happens during the waiting period. It is the longed for idea of what comes at the end of the wait. It is the filler between the beginning of the waiting period and the fruition of the end. If we wait without hope, what would stop us from giving up? Just think: you’re standing in line at Disneyland to get onto a ride without the hope of actually getting onto the ride. I don’t know about you, but I would get out of line before I actually got INTO line. 

For ten years, I didn’t just wait, I hoped. I trusted that God knew what He was doing, and I walked with the expectation of His fulfillment. and I hoped in Him. Not just the simple hope of one day being able to move to Scotland, but the hope of knowing the Lord more, learning more about Him, and honoring Him in my every day life. 

This didn’t mean I just sat around and waited for my turn. The same way, we don’t just sit in a chair waiting for a paycheck or wait for the mailman without actually placing an order. I may have been in a line waiting to get to a destination, but I wasn’t going to waste that time.

I hoped in the Lord through bible college, working with the youth group and missions trips to Africa and Romania. I hoped in the Lord through heartache, giving up jobs I loved, and through multiple moves (12 times in 8 years!). I hoped in Him through every UP and every DOWN. 

In the past 10 years, I have learned so much. I have grown so much. I have experienced so much. Going to Scotland may have been the “wait”, but the “everything-in-between” was the hope.

The biblical definition of hope comes from a word that means “expect” “tarry”, “look eagerly for”. I have walked through these past ten years expecting to find the Lord. I endured through every hard trial looking eagerly for His face in it. I tarried (delayed, stayed longer) through every adventure knowing the Lord would show up for the celebration.

We can spend our life waiting for the “next best thing” to happen to us...and never actually get there. We can wait for something amazing to occur...and never see it happen. Or we can hope. We can live with a hope of knowing that we were meant for more than just living our lives every day waiting for something to happen. 

So we wait with hope, but this hope is pointless without faith. The bible defines faith in Hebrews 11:1: "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." 

Faith is not having to see the finish line to start the race. You know it’s there...but all you see ahead of you is the road you have to run. My faith in Jesus Christ is the ultimate substance of hope. Regardless of what may have transpired over the past ten or so years, I knew that Scotland was not my ultimate goal. Following Jesus as my Lord is the ultimate goal in life.

"Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only [that], but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." - Romans 5:1-8 NKJV

The Promises of the Lord

"For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us. Now He who establishes us with you in Christ and has anointed us is God, who also has sealed us and given us the Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee." 

2 Corinthians 1:20-22

I want to share this verse with you. It is from 2 Corinthians and Paul (from my meager understanding) is using it to explain that the only constant and true thing we can rely on is the Lord. He had wanted to go to visit the Corinthian church but couldn't and because of that, they were upset and thought he was unreliable. Paul exhorts them to understand that, had it been up to him, he would have come, but God, in His infinite wisdom and knowledge, allowed for other circumstances and didn't allow him to travel to Corinth.

Paul was affected by a God who's promises are fulfilled in His Son, Jesus Christ. He was human and his "yes" and "no" mean nothing more than "maybe" and "maybe not". But God, through Christ, can say "yes!" and "no!" and we must truly know and submit to that. He wanted the Corinthians to grasp this, too.

And still, today, He is asking me to understand this wisdom as well.

The first time the Lord brought the above verse to my attention was about 3 years ago in church on a Sunday. I still remember where I was sitting and what was going on in my head. The Lord had just opened a door for me to go to Scotland and I still hadn't shared it with more than a handful of people.

I was still in shock that the Lord's goodness would trickle down to me - that, after all I had gone through that year, I could still hear His clear, perfect, and true voice. I was still also very unsure about the fact He was finally sending me over to Scotland. And then we read the above verse.

All of His promises are YES. 

I was so overwhelmed by His clear voice, yet again. "Erika, I promised you Scotland. That means YES. That means AMEN. That means that, even though you may not see the fruition at that moment, it is already done. Yes. Amen. And, yet, I still hadn't completely understood the meaning of the verse.

And then, three years later, the same thing.

You see, even though I am overjoyed at the Lord's calling me to Scotland, I am also incredibly scared. I go to sleep sometimes and think "whoa, am I really doing this? Is this happening?" Or, I take one more administrative step towards leaving and wonder "is this right? Lord, is this what you want me to do?"

I don't feel as equipped as I did even 1 year ago. I don't feel as energetic as I did 3 years ago. I don't feel as confident as I did 5 years ago.

But God, in His infinite wisdom, Has turned merciful eyes on me and said "Erika, YES." And, more than that, He showed me another part of this verse...

"...to the glory of God through us." This is HIS timing, HIS promise, HIS time to shine. With me in the way, He wouldn't get the glory. But because I know that nothing in me is good-that all goodness comes from above-He can now shine.

YES and AMEN. Ten years of waiting, seeking, and hoping. YES. Ten years of doubting, wondering, and dreaming. AMEN.

This promise of being sent as a missionary to Scotland was one made to me by a heavenly Father who seeks to bestow upon us every good and perfect gift. (James 1:17). Know that His gifts to you will be so different-and so perfect for you. And they will all stem from the same truths found in the bible. 

And, I want to encourage you, we can know nothing of the Lord unless we seek to find Him. Read the bible, spend time listening to Him and praying to Him. Without that, how will you know what He desires of you? If what you think you are hearing from God does not line up with Scripture, then it isn't from Him. Let the desires of your heart be His desires. All these things will be added to you.

God's promises are all throughout scripture. Unless we open it up and look, we will never know them and see them come to fruition in our lives.

""But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day [is] its own trouble." - Matthew 6:33-34 NKJV (said to the multitudes. When we seek first His kingdom and righteousness, He promises to provide for us all our earthly needs: specifically food, drink, and clothing.) 

""Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, "teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, [even] to the end of the age." Amen." - Matthew 28:19-20 NKJV (given to the disciples. When we obey His call to share salvation with others, He will be with us always.) 

""No man shall [be able to] stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, [so] I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you. "Be strong and of good courage, for to this people you shall divide as an inheritance the land which I swore to their fathers to give them. ... "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God [is] with you wherever you go."" - Joshua 1:5-6, 9 NKJV (given to Joshua. God promised to be with him no matter what.) 

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths." - Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV (When we trust in Him and lean on His understandings, acknowledging Him in our ways, He will direct our paths.)

These are just some of my favorite promises of the Lord. What are some promises of the Lord that speak to you? Open up scriptures for yourself and see what else you may find. I would love to hear some in the comments!

Goodbye, 2012.

Goodbye 2012. I can't say I'm going to miss you.

Let's be honest...we weren't exactly friends. I would say it was more of a toleration, like my relationship with exercise and steamed vegetables. I know I needed you. I know that everything that happened was for a reason, too. But, steamed vegetables stink and exercise is only something I do because I have to. I’m ready to part ways.

You can keep the layoff, two moves, thrice-broken down car, and four different jobs. You can keep the stress, complacency, and frustration. You can even keep most of my wardrobe. Honest.

But, hey. I would be remiss if I didn’t thank you, too.

If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have finally walked off the edge of comfort and fallen into the unknown. I may have never pursued being a missionary in Scotland. I might have still been living in complacency, working at a job I didn’t love and living in the same town I grew up in.

If it weren’t for your directive push, I may never have heard the Lord’s voice and been able to obey His calling. I wouldn’t have had any reason to rely on Him in my times of frustration and hurt, and I certainly never would have had a reason to pursue a ten-year dream.

So, even though I can’t say goodbye fast enough, I can’t help but admit that our relationship was a necessary rite of passage. I am thankful that your bitter was mixed with sweet.

Because, after all, bittersweet chocolate makes the best kind of cookies. And, much like the year I am leaving behind, if I'm going to be eating steamed vegetables and exercising, you can bet that I’m going to want some cookies as a reward.

Throwing away the white paint

"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you cleanse the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of extortion and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee, first cleanse the inside of the cup and dish, that the outside of them may be clean also. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead [men's] bones and all uncleanness. Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.” Matthew 23:25-28 NKJV

Buying a can of white paint to wash over some old decaying eye sore is like putting a smile on your face while feeling anger towards a fellow believer. It’s equal to posting verses on your Facebook while ignoring your daily quiet time. It’s the same as teaching a bible study or Sunday School class, but not realizing that the lessons are for you as well.

It’s living plastic in an organic world: it may look real, desirable, and good, but it is fake. And how many times have I lived this way?

"Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.” Matthew 5:48 NKJV

How, with this professed desire to LOOK one way but ACT another, can I perfect? I fail at obeying the Lord’s commandments every day. There are days I wake up and, instead of washing myself pure in His Word and Promise, I pull out my white-washed paint brush and touch up the parts on my life that look run down. I create an exterior for people to see.

I am not perfect.

It is God who is perfect and by Him I can be sanctified. Not by my works. What I do – what GOOD I do, should be an overflow of His love in me – and my encompassing realization of His love. His love in my life must be realized before any good can be done-not the other way around.

Looking good and acting good result in nothing but a whitewashed tomb. Living in the realization that God is good and that He embodies goodness results in letting people see me as a clay vessel, broken and needy, as Christ lives His goodness through me. And on the exterior, they may look the same, but I will know the difference. He will know the difference.

Lord, let me throw away my white paint.

Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing [I do], forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14 NKJV

Scotland Update 11/29: Care Team? What’s that?

If you have at all been following my preparations for heading out to the mission field, you might have heard me toss around the phrase “care team” at some point. I wanted to take this post to share with you what a Care Team is and, should you feel led, how you can be a part of it.

~Being a Spear~

First, imagine a spearhead. In places such as Africa, this spear can be a matter of life and death. When hunting, the tip of the spear is what will ultimately kill your prey. But, without the long stick and guiding tail that it is connected to, the head of the spear is nothing but a spear-shaped object held in the palm of your hand. You don’t just need the spearhead, you need the entire spear.

This is the same for a missionary. A person heading out onto the mission field is nothing without the support of those back at home. In so many ways, the “senders” (you!) are just as important as the missionary on the front-lines of overseas ministry. You are the body that connects the spearhead to the tail end that will guide the spear right to its target.

~Being a Team~

A Care Team is a group of people that commit to coming up alongside the ministry of a missionary as he/she/they are sent out to their mission field. Their commitments can come in the form of so many things: whether it is simply committing to pray, send an email, donate financially, or help with logistics, each part of the team is equally important-and equally necessary.  

In Exodus 17:10-16, the Israelites are led into battle by Joshua and Moses is told by the Lord to hold his rod above his head for the duration of the battle. As long as the rod is above his head, they will win the battle. Eventually, it gets too heavy a burden to bear and as it dips below his head, the battle begins to turn. However, Aaron and Hur, standing alongside Moses as he obeys this command, come up next to him and hold his arms for him, that he would be able to fulfill his mission for the Lord.

I will be heading onto the mission field this coming March to obey the Lord’s calling in my life. But, I can’t do it without a team committed to holding my arms above my head as I bear my proverbial rod in this battle.  

~Being My Team~

Will you be a part of that team? Could you stand alongside me as I head onto the mission field? If so, there are 5 different ways you can be a part of my team. Please read a short description of each below and then fill out the questionnaire attached at the end of this blog post.

Moral Support Team (encouragement): You could be on the other side of the world and your words of encouragement and support will still be heard, felt, and welcomed. When I leave to Scotland, it’s true that I will eventually build new relationships and enjoy the fellowship of believers present around me. But, it’s you guys: my friends and family on my Moral Support Team, who will commit to emailing me encouraging verses, ask me questions of how I am doing, and continually point me to the Lord. You know me and can encourage me in those times I am home sick or simply need to hear from someone familiar.

Being a part of the Moral Support Team looks like:

·         Write letters, send text messages, or email

·         Personal Skype meetings

·         Care packages

·         Personal visits

·         Share personal news, or other things going on around you in your life.

Prayer Support Team: Prayer is the glue to any ministry. Bringing our eyes back to Jesus Christ, the One we serve and the One we point others to for salvation. Without the consistent sweet fragrance of a Prayer Support Team, my labors would be done in vain. This is such a necessary and integral part of any ministry. Your commitment to praying for me daily is probably the single most important part of a care team.

Being a part of the Prayer Support Team looks like:

·         Receiving prayer emails

·         Daily prayer

·         Attending SENT weekly prayers at Shoreline

·         Follow up on prayer requests

Logistical Support Team: Planning, moving, settling, and even communicating with a care team while on the mission field can be overwhelming without someone to help keep it all on track.  Even I, myself: someone who enjoys organizing and planning, will be completely relying on my Logistical Support Team to help make sure I have all those details in place: before I leave and after.

Being a part of the Logistical Support Team looks like:

·         Help with organization and tracking of care team members

·         Available to help with paper work

·         Sending off details

·         Sending care packages

·         Help organize fundraisers and care team meetings.

Re-Entry Support Team: Knowing that my home church and family are here in America, I plan on making consistent furlough trips back here to visit. This will include spending time with my family and care team members, meeting new friends, and catching up with old friends. Having people to help with those sort of plans, as well as emotionally supporting the transition, are a welcome blessing to any missionary.

Being a part of the Re-Entry Support Team looks like:

·         Help find a place to stay while on furlough.

·         Organize update gatherings to share about ministry.

·         Be available for a chat over coffee, dinner, or other such fellowship time.

Financial Support Team: Whether by one time gifts or committing to making a monthly donation, you will be helping support my trip financially. Heading over to Scotland on a Religious Workers Visa, I am unable to get a job in the United Kingdom. By being on my Financial Support Team, your donation, is allowing me to stay in the UK and share Jesus with these people, unhindered from having to raise a full annual amount before I leave to the mission field.

Being a part of the Financial Support Team looks like:

·         Monthly or One-Time Donations can be made through Shepherd’s Staff Mission Facilitators. You can follow this link (Shepherd’s Staff: Bennett, E) to make an online donation, write and mail a check, or fill out an EFT form to set up monthly donations. My missionary number (to be put on all donations) is 1061. All donations are tax-deductible.