**this is part 6 of my testimony that i began posting on 5/17/10…thank you all for reading this. One more to go! **
Walking away from the youth group led me to walking towards a God ordained resting period. I clung to the verses from Habakkuk during this time of feeling bare, of being nothing but a fruitless dry tree, of gaining nourishment from the roots I had in the Lord's love. Eventually, the winter season was going to turn into spring as Song of Solomon 2:10-12 reminds us:
"My beloved spoke, and said to me: "Rise up, my love, my fair one, And come away.
For lo, the winter is past, The rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth; The time of singing has come, And the voice of the turtledove Is heard in our land."
This verse is one that is always brought to my attention as I am dealing with hard situations. Erika, He says to me, it's time to walk in My spring time. It's time to start growing again. It's time to produce the fruit that you were made to produce. I have called you away from that dry, cold and lifeless wintry season. Your tears have caused the earth to bring forth flowers again. You had to shed the old foliage to make room for the new. There is life to be seen and to be experienced, come away with Me and lets find it!"
I found Spring time when I chose the Lord over myself, chose to trust that He knew me better than myself, and chose to follow His path.
It led me to an internship at church.
And a new job making jewelry where I was able to work from home and serve more freely.
And a new living situation with amazing roommates.
It led me to being filled up again and desiring to overflow.
And serving in the office at church.
And new and renewed friendships.
And learning how to be perfectly content in any situation the Lord puts in my path.
"Trust in the LORD, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass." Psalm 37:3-5
Every time the anxious questions of whether or not I was doing the right thing and whether or not I made the right choices came into my head, I was reminded of these verses. Trust in Him. Dwell in the land. Feed on His faithfulness...He will bring it to pass. I stopped serving in the youth group in July 2008.
It has been two years of learning...
...to dwell
...feed
...trust
...delight
...commit
...do good
two years of turning over every desire of my heart to Him...
...every hope
...every dream
...every promise
...every THING that could possibly blind my eyes from His desires for my heart.
It's what He wants. As we desire to do His will, He will begin to shape us accordingly. I hope I'm not the first to tell you that it WILL be painful at times. It will hurt when things-people, situations, jobs, items, relationships, plans-that are embedded deep within your heart have to be ripped out. It hurts, but the healing is something to look forward to. The Lord will not leave you broken. He is here to heal.
"When Jesus heard that, He said to them, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy and not sacrifice.' For I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance." Matthew 9:12-13
(I want to once again let you know that the healing and the rest that I have continually found throughout my life is found only in the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ and His sacrifice on the cross. The bible says that if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart, you will be saved (Romans 10:9-10). It's that simple. Please contact me if you want to talk more about this decision. More about the peace of God that surpasses all understanding. erikamarie82@gmail.com)
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