Do you ever have those times where you KNOW what you’re supposed to do but have the hardest time submitting your own desires to do it?
Or, do you ever feel like something really exciting is just about to happen but you don’t have the faith enough to let yourself get excited because the reality of it is so far displaced from your reality?
What about those moments when you feel certain that things are being laid out before you and you are missing one huge link to the puzzle and it becomes something akin to visiting a dentist’s office to trust that everything is going to work out…without pursuing that missing link?
Have you ever set a goal or a fleece before the Lord and, saying you are trusting Him to provide, continually try to reach or achieve that goal on your own?
Has He ever totally blown you away by smacking your hand and at the same time proving to you hands down that He really is in control and that you really have nothing to do with achieving said goal?
I don’t know that I have openly shared on here the financial part of my calling to Scotland. But the long and short of it is that I personally do not and will not have the finances to fund this trip. Because of this, the Lord put it on my heart and asked me to step out in faith by sending support letters out to those around me.
Being the *oh so humble and never at all prideful about money* (read: sarcasm) person that I am, this was hard for me to do. Throughout it all though, I knew He was calling me and He continually reminded me that He would provide. All I could say was “if He wants me to go, then He will get me there…”
So, I set a goal (or “fleece” if you will…) of $1,000 in order to get my plane ticket (they are running around $900 right now). And on May 30th, I handed out my support letters.
And then the days started ticking by. And then I started worrying. And then I started taking matters into my own hands trying to figure out how I could get to $1,000 on my own. I had, as of Wednesday, received about 1/2 of that amount.
In planning for my garage sale this weekend, I kept thinking “ok, if I can make the remaining amount then I will be able to get my plane ticket! That’s manageable!
Hmm…then I went to the mail box and with a simply labeled envelope, I hear the Lord tell me “Erika, I said I would provide this for you…I don’t need your help.”
And my fleece was answered and the Lord, once again, made Himself known in so mighty a way that I cannot deny His presence.
And I was yet again humbled in thinking about how very much He loves me and how very much He desires to pour out His every good and perfect gift from above (James 1:17)
“The Lord will perfect that which concerns me. Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever; do not forsake the works of Your hands.” Psalm 138:8