Recently, I have had a hard time keeping my tears in. The smallest thing tips off my emotions and a tear will fill my eyes in a moments notice.
They aren’t all the same tears, though. They are tears of change, frustration, happiness, confusion, joy, uncertainty, overwhelming desires and hopes, pain, mourning, excitement…
When I was young, my mom called them “Crocodile Tears” because they would fill my eyes so fast and before I knew it one large tear drop would escape my eye and fall dramatically down my face, scarring the person watching and deceiving me as it gave away the emotions it held and portrayed.
Those crocodile tears never left. Some times more than others, they come falling down my face and I have had days where I have embraced them and days, much like today, where I have shamed them.
Do you ever get tired of crying? I do. I have recently found myself trying to hold them in, willing them to stay at bay during this season. And as they come…unchecked, unwanted, and unwelcome, I found myself apologizing within me today…
“I’m sorry, Lord, that I am not strong enough. I’m sorry that I can’t hold it together. I am ashamed that something that petty could cause so many tears.”
And He gently reminded me of John 11:35…Jesus wept.
We serve a God who is unafraid to weep. We serve a God who will see us through every tear, every cry, every sorrow, every joy…
He gives ear to my cry and will not be silent at my tears. He puts my tears into His bottle. And the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from all faces; For the LORD has spoken.
I called upon the LORD, And cried out to my God…my cry entered His ears because His ears are open to my cry. the LORD hears…and will deliver me out of all my troubles. He will hear their cry and save them.
When the Lord saw, He had compassion and said, "Do not weep."
there is a time to weep, And a time to laugh. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh…so rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep for those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.
*Psa 39:12-Psa 56:8-Isa 25:8-2 sam 22:7-Psa 34:15-Psa 34:17-Psa 145:19,-Luk 7:13-Rom 12:15-Psa 126:5-Ecc 3:4-Luk 6:21*
I needed to be reminded today that it is OK to shed tears and it is alright to let Him comfort me when I need it.
I don’t have to apologize to My Dad when I need a hug.
I just need to ask for it.